First thing is first, I'm sorry I have not posted since... *looks over at the sidebar* Aug, 11. Opps.
Anyway, the following is a rant, plain and simple. I kind of explains why I have not posted any art in a while.

I reached the point in which I no longer want to force myself to be nice to him. (Those of you keeping up should know who I mean by 'him' ) He has been an ass to me, and it's about time I let him know it.
Yea, sure, he gave me a ride to my friend's house. Okay, whatever. But that does not change the fact that he broke my heart in to about a hundred little pieces, looked at me, said, "Have fun putting that together," and walked away like he did nothing wrong. Like he was the gentlemen and I was the bitch the whole time.

Yea, well... FUCK HIM. He is being an asshole, and not just to me. It's about time he got a taste of his own medicine. He had the nerve to tell one of my friends that he thinks I'm bitchy and protective. Okay, for one, just saying I am protective is not a bad thing. Now if you say I am over protective that is a bad thing.

I'm working on that.

About the bitchy though. I might be a bitch, but I am a bitch because I let people know how I feel about them. I do my damnedest to not be nicey-nicey to their face and then stab them in the back. Yes I have slip ups, everyone does. But hey asshole..... NO ONE IS PERFECT!!!!! You knew what I was like before you started to go out with me and instead of talking to me about it, you kept you mouth shut, claimed you didn't want to hurt me while you lied to me about the one thing I cannot stand to be lied to about.

Then the fucker sat there and told me that I keep hiding behind my BPD. You know what go to hell. What else can I call this problem in my head then the name it is given by doctors who are thought how to deal with said kinds of problems? Yea I mention my BPD a lot, but you want to know something, it's ALWAYS there. I can't turn it off. I want to stab him in the face for what he said after that. I said that he doesn't understand what it is like to have your head fucked up; to be unable to control your emotions. He interrupted me AGAIN, and said, (this one is a winner folks) "Yea, I do, I'm dyslexic-" I had to step in on this one, "Being Dyslexic does not fuck your emotions up" "Yea it does, I have to deal with all kinds of problems because of it." Some of you would be proud of me. I just shut up and finished eating my plate of food and left. What I wanted to say is, "Dumb fuck, I'm computer dyslexic, I know better." But I didn't I just walked away. Mind you I walked to Clark where two of my guy friends were sitting in the lobby and started to cry because of how upset I was.

I can't stand it when people who know nothing of my disease try to sit there and tell me that it is just like what they have. Um...NO! Do some fucking research, please. Don’t try and tell me about something I have been looking up since 2006, which is when I found out about it. It explains why I do the things I do and why I react the way I do, but it is not who I am. I don't go around and every time I do something someone does not like tell everyone it was the BPD's fault. No, I say sorry, explain why I think I fucked up and try and move on.

What sucks is we have almost the same circle of friends. I told my friends that I am not going to make them choose; I might ask for some advice, help, or just a shoulder to cry on; but that is it.

I now get to start over again at putting heart back together. What sucks is the fact that it was never whole in the first place. I know this sounds emo, but sometimes I wonder if pain is all I am suppose to know in life.

Yea, this blog seems bitchy, emo, and depressed. I don't fucking care. I don't blog to entertain you fucks, I blog so I don't kill people.


Now I need to find another ride to my friend's in two weeks...FUCK!!!!

[link]
[link]
*I did not make the about images. I did ask before I used them though.

~*I did make them into Flair on facebook though.... just search BPD